


Keep your friends close

by Fox and Peaches (Sabotaging_Ivy)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Its funny I swear, Multi, Shitty plays Hockey in Harvard, There are so many OCs, and i am going to try w other languages that arent my forte, and there will be more bc i have so many i cant, awebo that i am including spanish in this w miguel, w consultation ofc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23869999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabotaging_Ivy/pseuds/Fox%20and%20Peaches
Summary: B "Shitty" Knight never thought he would play hockey after Samwell, but he knew he would have too again, he just loved the damn sport too much.
Relationships: Larissa "Lardo" Duan & Shitty Knight, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: omg stream! please Fics





	1. Meet cute

Shitty Knight decided that as soon as he could he would get into the Harvard Hockey team. He meant no disrespect at Samwell, but he was getting antsy. Being cooped up in his dorm room while studying complicated legalise was going to drive him insane.

Finding the rink was no problem, surprisingly there was the harvard hockey team practicing, and he didn’t recognize a single person and that was a god damned relief. If he saw a single law student in hockey he would riot.

Now getting in the team for the next season couldn't be hard, he’d done the process in Samwell.  
Turns out it was harder, but he did it anyway. Being a Knight gave surprising amounts of benefits even if he didn’t mean to.

.

His classes were dreadful, but at least meeting the team of fuckers who played hockey seemed a much better alternative than going to the awful law mixers. 

The team seemed a bit boring, but he had only just met them. He probably seemed boring too.  
I mean, the dudes were just passing the puck, and doing it in pairs.

That's boring. He wanted excitement, fuck he missed playing with the Haus brahs. He really wished he had some form of familiarity with Harvard. Most people in his classes were from rich privileged white families. 

And “Shitty” B. Knight thought that sucked.

.

Being a freshman and being the oldest on the team, was certainly a weird experience. He had to work his way around young adults that had immense expectations hanging over them, not that he was any different. In all terms he was still a young adult, and yet, he didn’t feel like one. 

He had only heard the nickname of one of the guys and he was sure it was based on a Star Wars character. Jar-Jar, now Shitty might have experience and knowledge of many things but Star Wars was not his expertise. 

Jar-jar as far as he knew was a pretty chill dude. Reminded him a little of Nurse, but not really, and he had some sick flow, man it was better than he had it at its peak. Shitty was a little jealous not gonna lie. Jar-jar was paired with this dude, that his aura reminded him of Jack in his freshman year hard working but with a stuck up his ass, he was a exchange student from a prestigious university in Sao Paulo that he really wouldn't try to pronounce or think because he did not understand and nows jackshit of portuguese. João Carvalho-Almeida, or known to the team as “Vals”, had no resemblance whatsoever to Zimmerman, and yet he really had this inkling that this fucker could dance like nobody’s bussiness. 

Up next was Dove, who’s name Shitty couldn't pronounce correctly, only thing he knew from him was that he was from the midwest and his name was Miguel. Paired with him was, honest to the sanctity of Epikegsters, near carbon copy of Eric Bittle when he was a frog. The resemblance was so uncanny he almost called him “Bits” instead of “Ziti” more than three times. Aside from the resemblance, he understood that somehow Dove and Ziti had known each other since diapers, and had reunited in Harvard after many years of not seeing each other.

Last but certainly not least, was the most confusing of them all, the team was undecided on the nickname of who he was paired with. Half of the team called him “Ravioli” and the other half called him “Dio”. The person in question Luca Dioli, who what he understood was some sort of downlow influencer/celebrity who many people would fawn over around campus.

Dio was a pretty competent dude, a bit self centered but he got the spirit. The Hockey spirit that is.

.

Shitty had a bit of a problem, a nickname problem, you see he already has one, Shitty is a perfectly good name, but all his new teammates refuse to call him by it. They’ve just been calling him “Knight” which is absurd, he has a perfectly good nickname that everyone’s been calling him for years. 

In the end, they end up on “Knighty” which brah, it's as bland as they come but it's better than nothing.

.

A week or so after getting to meet his teammates, Lardo and him are in his dorm, absolutely stoned out of their minds. 

“This dude, is like a mini celebrity around campus, and he fucking knows it” 

“Does he like” She makes a gesture with her hand “own it?”

“Brah totally, and he has like two nicknames, ones Ravioli and the other’s Dio, take a piss out of that!”

“Shitty, shitty, dude, you will NOT believe what you just reminded me of”

“The light of my eyes, I shit you not, i know jack shit what you mean but please tell me”

“One of my artsy friends, okay she's Panni, yes i know her parents named her that, why do not ask, her grandmother is from Hungary. And she’s a super dweeb and into anime”

“Yeah okay, so what? Many people are into that shit, i think one of Bits’ freshmen is into that ya?”

“IT’S THE CONTEXT MAN, okay so one time she was watching this like old but new, but not really very popular anime, Bizzare something and the main antagonist is called Dio”

“Aight”

“SO, Her grandmother was passing the living room while she was watching it on her tv, and starts bawling with laughter”

“What? Why? What the fuck brah?”

“Yah so turns out, Dio in hungarian is walnut, and now Panni can’t watch that anime without crying”

“Dude, no way, FUCKIN’ CHIRP MATERIAL THANKS BRAH LOVE IT, oh dude maybe even blackmail”

“Blackmail? What his fucking fans for yourself? Are you an attractive recently graduated student from high school? BWGHAHAHAH” She does the snort thing while she laughs.

“SHUT UP LARDS, I WANT TO MAKE FUN OF THE GUY, DONT CHIRP ME”

She keeps laughing, and boy does Shitty keep loving the fuck out of her.


	2. Asking why we missed our chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shitty parties HARD and Harvard dudes are so confused thats the summary yall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMU on tumblr as sabotaging-ivy if yall like this.  
> The guys at the omgstreamplease discord server are my lifeline and always have great ideas.  
> (tALKING TO U LASZLO)  
> also chapter title is from caravan palace's moonshine

Ziti had invited Knightly to the party they were organizing, and his eyes lit up like a child in a candy store. In that instant they knew they had fucked up.

Honestly, the Basketball team volunteered their den, as long as the Hockey team cleaned it up, they would be fine. It was a joint effort.

Shitty surprisingly had quite the input on how a party should be done, excuses and such that “He and Lardo had thrown the biggest epikegsters ever” which sounded promising, but leaving a party to a freshman did not inspire confidence in them. So they just told him that they would be in charge ahd he didn’t have to worry about anything.

Which he looked bummed out, but left them be.

.

The party was cool, or so Jar-Jar thought, he still hasn't seen Knighty yet. Which was kinda weird since the dude seemed super excited to be there.

Wait a minute…  
He was just arriving with one of those speaker coolers tied around his waist with a belt and only that, no clothing whatsoever. Pink hair? What the actual fuck was happening. And you may ask, was the cooler blasting tunes? Of course it was, none other than the iconic and not at all a one hit wonder “All about that bass” by Meghan Trainor on repeat.

In the open cooler you could see a bright magenta, maybe pink liquid, his not mentioned before hat that also had a container full of it. On a container inside the nondescript cooler juice, there are these small bottles of dark blue liquid which Knighty only gives to people that refuse the bright pink cooler juice. Those people usually are big dude bros, who say no homo way too fast for Knightly’s liking and instantly get the little bottle with a ”Chug it brah”.

That didn't look good.

Turns out, an old friend of Knightly, taught him how to make moonshine. Which was half of the blue bottled drink, the other half of the drink was the infamous Four Loko that gave the drink its blue color. It was destined to be. Those dudes were destined to be absolutely shitfaced.

A shout was heard and many of the people attending shouted back.

(Yes sir that is how parties work, you can tell how many parties i have gone to in my entire life and it is exactly two)

Jar-jar turned his head to where the first should have come from and as he turned his head back he could no longer see Knightly. Maybe he should look for him, didn’t want someone to turn this into something they couldn’t control.

Another loud noise was heard, this time Knightly was on top of a wooden chair. Telling a story about his friend, the best human specimen his eyes had ever seen. Jack was the name of his friend.

He sure admired this Jack, most of the stories he had heard about him were whack. That he rescued him from falling into a “Tub Juice”, whatever that was, it was pretty self explanatory but he really didn’t want to confirm anything while he still drank from that pink drink of the cooler.

Jar-Jar stopped paying attention to Knightly, it really wasn’t his problem to deal with the new guy. This had been organized so they could have fun, and really that was what he was going to do.

Chugged up the last of his drink and went to the cooler that had been laid on the floor.

He filled the cup again, he wasn't sure how many times he had filled it in the last hour.  
.

Ziti was very drunk, and god he had only drank a cup of the cooler juice. He knew he was a lightweight, there was no denying it.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Knightly, who he remembered wanted to be called Shitty but everyone absolutely refused to call him as such. That was just a really weird nickname. He thought Knightly fit him, weirdly, but he thought of him as very righteous and maybe a bit chivalrous.

He was constantly, trying to educate the dude bros even though they didn’t listen to him. Ziti listened to his talks and quasi lectures. He really admired him, he would never be able to say such congruent arguments and refute the heteronormative, transphobic and very racist shit most of the privileged white dude bros of Harvard.

Even if he didn’t have a perspective on racism, he very much knew the consequences of the systematic racism against people of color. Having known Dove most of his youth, Andrew got off the hook many times, while Miguel got frowned upon. Nearly going to Juvie over a stupid prank they both pulled off against a teacher on their Junior Year of Middle School.

Since then, Zieto, whenever he could he would help Miguel in any way he could. God, he would do anything for Dove. It was weird calling him Dove, having called him Migue for so long. But he supposes that after moving, calling him Migue would be a bit weird. So Dove it is. Honestly, Ziti has been hanging out with Dove recently. Both of them found out they still are as comfortable as ever. Still laughing at each other’s jokes even though their sense of humor has changed.

.

Shitty had the bad habit of being drunk and getting on top of trees. While on Samwell, Jack was the one who usually convinced him to get down. Now at Harvard he had only met the guys at the hockey team for a few weeks. For sure he passed out on the tree, yet he realized that he was nowhere near the basketball den.

He somewhat recognized, in his inbetween hangover and drunken state, the Divinity School, and the Theological Library. He wouldn’t usually hang out around this place, but it seems while shitfaced drunk it had been a good idea.

He couldn’t remember where he had left the 200 dollar cooler that his best bud Jack had gotten him.

Fuck

As he tried getting off the tree he saw Vals walking nearby really concentrated.

“VALS!”

“Vocé me assustou! Who is out here!”

“BRAH, it's me Knight! I'm up here!”

“Knightly? What are you doing up there?”

“Look I came from the Baskden shitfaced drunk and probably got lost on my way to the dorms. I am used to getting into trees while shitfaced. Don't question it, just please help me get down brah”

“Oh, okay, i guess”

“Yeah, brah, Jack used to be the one that either convinced me to get down or would join me and read a book for a while”

“Knightly, is there a reason why there’s weed right down here?”

“Dunno, free weed”

“There could be something in it!”

“What? like oregano? Nah dude weed is sacred no one fucks with another person’s weed ”

João helped him get off the tree, Shitty thought that it was kinda weird that there was more than one bag of it.


	3. See the lightning in your eyes           See 'em running for their lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca is scarred, he and Shitty talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me too long sorry lmao i love yall, also this is kinda fucked up.  
> The chapter title is from The Offspring's "You're Gonna Go Far Kid"  
> Talk to me on my [Tumblr](https://sabotaging-ivy.tumblr.com/)  
> And on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chipsivanna)  
> Thanks for reading

What most people don't know is that Eric Bittle likes to teach his teammates how to bake, most forget about it.  
The thing is whatever Shitty learns he never forgets. He doesn't know how he found himself making cookies. He’s not much of a baker, but knew enough to get by.  
While high, after Lardo had left, his thoughts wandered to the tree he had climbed. The tree had the bearings of acorns, and decided that after doing walnut cookies with Bitty, acorn cookies could not be hard.

He was right and wrong at the same time, knowing the basics of how to make cookies was certainly helpful, but taste wise was different. A ruined batch or two later, he had some decent tasting cookies that went well enough with acorns.

.

Shitty had been working on an assignment that his dickwad of a professor had assigned. He felt pretty tired and needed a break.

Weed is always a good option. So that's what he chose.

Being high while being alone, wasn't ideal. Shitty decided that the tree he usually hangs out would be a good spot to hang out for a while. 

He takes the cookies, and walks to the area of the Divinity School. Once below the acorn tree, he starts climbing it with the ziploc bag of cookies in his mouth. He reaches a sturdy enough branch and decides to stay there.

.

Luca, as half of the hockey team called him “Dio” and the other half “Ravioli”, was currently in class. He knew that a pair of girls had been staring at him since the start of class, and possibly had chosen those seats since the start of the semester for that exact purpose. Which like, weird, you’re there to study but go off i guess. 

Yeah, Ravioli was well aware that he was attractive. It's undeniable, but he really wished people would stop following him everywhere. He liked taking pictures if someone asked, but sometimes it gets to the point where he can see that people are taking pictures “sneakily”. And by the quotation marks on sneakily he means he can obviously see them and it's pretty creepy.

He really liked talking to the people who came up to him. Most were fans, which was fine, he enjoyed their conversations, at this point in his career he knew how to steer conversations towards a topic he was more familiar with.

The professor of “Buildings, Texts, and Contexts II” let them off class, just in luck half an hour earlier. His only late class, which he was glad that finished early. He would get going to the dorms, which meant he passed throughout the Divinity School to get to it. 

He got walking into the late night, and he wasn’t glad that the dorms were so far away from this very specific class that had been obligatory to take that semester. It would have been much worse to leave it for another time, either it was buttcrack early in the morning or this late into the night. He would not be seen sleep deprived and that early in the morning, he would not allow it. Dio’s pride and integrity were much more important than that.

He was starting to get nearby to the Div. School.

He also was starting to regret that decision. 

Out of the corner of his eye he caught a bright light akin to a camera’s flashlight. His senses immediately went haywire. Had someone followed him from class?

Luca’s blood started pumping fast, he could feel it in his fingertips.

Shit.

He heard something, this time, he was under the streetlamp. The sound of crunching leaves.

He nearly jumped, instead he climbed the nearest tree as fast as he could. Adrenaline helping.

As he got on a less than sturdy branch, he hugged the tree trunk. He felt a hand grab him while whispering to stay quiet. 

“Lulu! Where did you go?” A female voice came from nearby the tree.

Luca somewhat recognized the girl’s voice. She had talked to him, before about the roles he had. How she had been watching the films for a few years. He found it odd that she mentioned that specific detail but now he knows it had been a red flag.

“Lukey, I know you are near here! I will find you!”

Luca turns his head upwards, and sees Knighty and nearly sighs in relief, someone mostly sane. He stays quiet, and softly hears Knight talk.

“We can hide better if we go up”

Luca followed him towards the deeper parts of the tree. 

The both of them get to a sturdy branch, and sit down one next to the other.

“Hey man, how is it that you’re so chill with me? Not to be super pretentious, but I know I'm kinda a low-key celeb, with that whole meme thing.”

“Wait, what?”

“I know I kinda profited off it, okay profited is not what I meant. More in the means that I made it bigger, by fanning the flames and stuff on insta.”

“Brah a meme? Honestly just thought you were one of those people who knew everybody on campus”

“Really?”

“Yeah brah, my friend Jack’s like you very known parents and stuff. Just got a contract for something big. It's chill.”

“Are you serious? Really?”

“Yeah brah”

“Thank you really, it means a lot to me that you can be normal with me”


End file.
